Decorating Ideas I'll Never Quite Embrace

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I love living spaces - houses, apartments, rv's, dorms, you name it. I always have. No one in my family will walk with me in the evening after the time "falls back" because that's my favorite time to stroll around peeking in windows just to get a glimpse inside of other's houses. (No, this is not creepy!) I love painting, rearranging furniture, rethinking rooms, all of it. My problem? I am the mom of four boys. 

My oldest, Dan, is almost 25. His twin brothers, Tim and Ian,  are 23. My "baby," Andy, is 17. But, they were once short people. They were not terribly violent or destructive. I'm a homeschool mom, I'll call them creative. So, there are things, even now, that I see on HGTV or on Pinterest that make me shout (out loud, to the horror of my husband, Mike and my son, Andy) "THIS is a terrible idea. TERRIBLE." And, then, still sitting in the kitchen by myself, I go on to explain why. Mike and Andy sit in the other room pretending I don't exist. 

(Quick bit of information:  All pictures are from Pinterest. I am a fan of many of these pictures as well - I just can't get past the inner mom thing.)

So . . . I'm going to share with you. Please jump in to agree or disagree!

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  1. I actually have 3 old trunks in my garage right now and it's likely at least one of them will end up with casters on the bottom. However, if you're in a house with kids under 21, this coffee table is going to be used for things you can't imagine with those sturdy wheels attached.  

If you haven't lived in my house, imagine taking a 3 minute shower and coming out to find your 19 month old son bungy-corded to a skateboard and wearing a bike helmet being launched down the driveway and across the road by his 5 and 6 year-old brothers. It was a 3-minute shower! I cannot even imagine what they might have done with this coffee table. Just say no.

 

 

 

 

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I'm a fan of gray and white. But, a white sofa - upholstered, not slipcovered - and kids? Why? Why? Why? You might as well put sharpies in your kids' Christmas stockings! We all have rules. It's fine to say no eating around the couch. But, if you have kids, someone is going to get a Poptart through the DMZ and you won't find the gooey stain until it's too late to do anything about it. Go light if you want but get/make washable slipcovers. As for the white tables? Go white -  but go for super-scrub-able. Kids happen. So do moms - tea spills, so do Mason jars full of red wine (I've heard). Oreos crumble and get mashed in to things, M&M's do melt in your hands on occasion. By all means, create the house you love but make it a house you can all live in! 

 

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This is a nursery! Yes, it's staged but . . . despite the neutral tones this is an invite to short person overload and potential night terrors. Not to mention, all that plush is an invite to dust mites and other allergens. Babies are hard on their own. AND, if like me, you have very bad eyesight, sneaking into this room at 4 am to feed a baby is the stuff of nightmares! That teletubbie thing would be the first to die on my watch. Don't make it harder than it has to be. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Finally, whoever came up with this room design is most likely under 25, does not understand the rage for "open concept" living, and has no kids. Seriously? A climbing wall in a kids' bedroom? Does it come with lighted-miners' helmets? Cuz that's when those kids will be using the climbing wall - when you're trying to sleep! They'll be climbing in the dark.  Why not add a ceiling fan with swings and a remote for hyper-warp speed? While you're at it, test your health insurance and put some rusty nails around.  Is there a way to put a swampy marsh under the floor (that is conveniently opened by the ceiling fan remote? Did you ever see It's a Wonderful Life?) On birthday invitations, you can just write "No gifts please, little Jimmy is really looking for baby alligators & tadpoles for his sub-floor marsh and also donations for a few hours of belaying after midnight."